Today's Bone Marrow Biopsy

I have to say that today was another rough day. I didn't get enough sleep last night (thank you Mr. Abe) and I drank too much strong coffee this morning. Pair that with bundles of nerves over today's procedure and it just wasn't pretty. Colin had to keep asking if I was ok. I just kept thinking about a drill going into my bone. I asked over and over that the Lord calm me, but I think I couldn't even think straight enough to really focus on those prayers. My time came in the biopsy room and they asked if I premedicated. What? Apparently there were prescriptions waiting for me which Colin ran and filled - as a side note, I love that in Oncology, you get the lab/pharmacy/clinic all together in one - so convenient! So, when I discovered that not only did they offer me Valium, they also offered me morphine. It was at that point I realized what kind of pain we were dealing with. My doctor said that most people take both pills for this procedure, but I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of the day sick to my stomach, so I just took the Valium. Let's just say the Valium didn't start working until I was leaving the clinic, about 45 minutes later. It didn't help me AT ALL. So, I got to feel every portion of that horrifying procedure. She first took many Lydocain needles and put them near and in my hip bone. Painful? Yes. But that's nothing. Then she put the needle in and the amount of pressure was unbelievable. The pressure would then change to stabbing pain and she would have to pull out and add more Lydocain to the bone. That happened multiple times. Then she went into the marrow, but not before telling me to count to three and breath. At this point I am sweating with pain and holding Colin's finger so tight it is leaving marks. The bone marrow should never be tapped, that's for sure. I gasped in pain. Then she had to pull out (painful as well) and go back in for a solid bone sample. She took a tube and twisted down into my bone and grabbed a piece. But once she examined it, she realized it was too small. So she had to do it again. More sweating and at this point I am on the verge of tears. I feel bad for her that I didn't take pain meds because she kept apologizing and telling me how good I was doing. Finally the procedure was over and I have been enjoying (not at all) the effects of Valium. Super sleepy, my thoughts come slower. I don't know why people like taking that!

At any rate, I had a very sweet girl bring me the perfect New Seasons bag of goodies for dinner - roast chicken, sauteed green beans, wild rice, gluten free granola, hemp milk, almond milk, pumpkin seeds, soups and fruit. It's just what I needed after a day like today.

Tomorrow I start chemo and I think after today, I can conquer anything. That, and I am so ready to rid my body of this cancer. I feel like the last month has been a marathon of scans, tests, worry, prayer, more tests and finally I have earned the right to my first healing treatment. I also finally got the guts up to look at my blood tests and they actually weren't that scary. The inflammation is the lowest it's been in months and I can only attribute that to my diet.

Specific prayer request - please be praying that my chemo will go smoothly tomorrow (9 a.m.) and my body will accept it. Let it begin killing off those cancer cells immediately!