I'm Back

Above: On my IV drugs while reading the Bible. Below - 7th chemo treatment with the spunkiest male nurse I had ever had that made the morning so enjoyable.
Sorry for that brief dramatic intermission in the post below -- I'm back to my chemo-accepting self. I had what I thought was my second to last chemo only to find out that I actually have two more left to finish my fourth and final round of chemotherapy. I also found out that I am officially neutropenic. Which means my white cells (which are the fighters in my immune system) are so low that I have to give myself daily shots to stimulate (or squeeze)

my bone marrow to make more white cells. My nurse yesterday asked if I had Vicodin on hand at home. My eyes became like saucers. Why would I need Vicodin??? Apparently some people get in a lot of pain in their long bones where these cells are produced. There is a pain continuum and I'm not sure where I will fall on that until tonight.

I have been spending time these last couple of days focusing on the sweet things or gestures of love that are happening in my life right now to keep my spirit up. The cashier at Trader Joe's have me a fresh bunch of flowers for free after she made the mistake of asking what my Valentine's plans are. I informed her that I would be doing chemo and she immediately had so much sympathy for me. She was planning on dinner with a girlfriend and then a movie and she said "nothing special". I softly reminded her that it could be worse - she could be doing chemo. Sometimes I have to throw down the cancer card to make others feel better :) Another sweet thing was when the lady drawing my blood said she loved my long eyelashes and told me people would pay thousands for them! I didn't mention that I use the best mascara in the world, so that helps :) Jude has told me twice that he thinks I am pretty - all these things help me feel not so much like a boy and I don't have to worry about vanity from compliments since I feel so unfeminine all the time. Also, I have a new anti-nausea med that works like a charm, even if it does make me insanely sleepy. My husband brought a big beautiful bouquet home yesterday morning as I headed off to chemo. These little gestures are great for keeping my spirits up.

I was informed yesterday that I can't go out in public now due to my compromised immune system and I am extending that ban to my kids as well just to be safe. I had a stat chest X-ray yesterday because my doctor is concerned about lung damage, but that came back completely normal. This should be an interesting way to finish out chemo because I will probably be on those shots for the next two treatments and in quarantine. Anyone that 's healthy and wants to sit in my house to visit over a cup of coffee is welcome, as long as I am not sleeping from my pills :).

Lastly, I loved the chemo session yesterday because my aunt and I sat and read Psalm 139 - she read it out loud and I followed along in my Bible. It was a very sweet time with the Lord and my prayer is that others around us heard those verses in the way the Lord would have them.

Please be praying I continue to keep my spirits up and that the shots do their work mightily on my white cells with little pain for me - I need an immune system back!