My Prayer Journal

I treasure those rare mornings when I am awake before the kids (before 6 a.m. - thanks to a steroid-induced burst of energy) and I get to spend time praying, writing in my prayer journal and reading the Bible. Yes, I keep a prayer journal. I have since 2005 (when I was fervently praying to get pregnant with our first), but the entries were pretty sporadic up until, oh, about November of last year (when I was officially diagnosed) and then as you can imagine, the entries have been quite frequent. It's amazing what cancer will do for one's prayer life :). Some entries have been quite moving when I look back at them:

11/10: Thank you for the health of my children and Colin. Let me live to see my kids grow up.

11/12: Thank you for every willing person providing meals, child care and emotional support.

12/20: after stat chest x-ray at hospital: Lord, please heal my lungs - let me continue chemo with all four drugs. Let all my organs handle chemo ok.

12/21: Thank you, God, for answering my prayer on the chest x-ray. My tumors are shrinking! As the doctor said, "the mass that was there has been resolved". Please cure me of this cancer while letting others see your light.

12/27: Let my children learn to love you - guide Colin and me as we raise them.

12/28: Prepare me to be the best mom I can be for my children.

1/3: our wedding anniversary: Thank you for my husband of 14 years!

1/9: Lord, let my present sufferings refine me. (Romans 8:18)

1/16: Let me be in remission, if it is Your will.

1/24: Thank you for my complete remission.

1/30: Be in the midst of me so I will not be moved (Psalm 46:5).

2/7: Be with Samuel and Jude - let them grow to be the men You will have them be. Let us be parents that nurture that. Be with Juliet - show me how to be a good role model and Christian woman for her. Be with Abe - heal anything wrong with him from growing in my cancerous body. Use me for your purpose today.